True Communication


Mind cannot operate comfortably in uncertainty. Uncertainty and unpredictability confuses it. Its actions are always in reference to some fixed points. It tends to stablize things through labels, concepts and ideas.

When we meet a complete stranger , we have no idea about his nature. Mind starts to figure out what ‘kind’ of person other is. One has to respond to what is being said with almost nothing as a context to ‘who is saying’. Its different with the people we already know. we have some some ideas about who they are. We label them as ‘jerk’, ‘smart’, ‘funny’, ‘sincere’, ‘kind’, ‘mad’ and so on. Its neither that we use words exactly nor that we are always conscious of our frame of mind. But we still have opinions that we carry consciously or not so. These labels bring us into certain frames of mind that make it easier to make a response – to understand, and unfortunately to misunderstand as well. We tend to get fixed to a mental set that defines the set of responses appropriate for particular persons. This is often the first step towards blind living.

The reality is that people change with time. To see people as objects is missing the point. People are rather processes instead of fixed objects. Labels are our mind’s way to gaining the comfort of certainty – a rather costly comfort. It inevitably places us in a position where ‘what is being said’ gets mixed up with the disturbance being caused by our opinions about ‘who is saying’. The person beneath that label may be much different from the label itself. And this is often the case. Each day you wake up to a new world. But we tend to cling to our past opinions. Instead of looking at what is directly we look at it through the lens of past.

Proper communication can take place only when one is free of ones labels , ideas , notions, and prejudices about the other. By putting these aside one gets out of that complacent, easy, reactive and relatively unconscious way of responding to what is being said. Such communication takes place without any burden of the past. It happens in the present – moment to moment. Past is not totally sacrificed. Past is accessed through the present and not the other way round. And it is only such communication that can know freedom, that can lead to freedom. Such communication is not a means to an end of controlling others or making others conform. Only in such communication can the walls of resistance fall. Fear and control based communication only strengthens the resistance.

This is applicable in every aspect of your life – in Your peer group, your family, your workplace and most importantly your own communication with yourself. Its of utmost importance to be able to see and communicate with who you really are rather than with some established identity you carry about yourself.

It is the way we communicate that determines the coherence of the society. Society is after all a projection of the relations of the individuals with each other. Its not an object but a process. Not a structure but an alchemy. Society does not determine us, we determine it. Its not something to be blamed. It has no existence of its own. Its the product of our interaction with each other. Communication , as such, is much more important than we usually think it to be. Its not just a way to get things done – a means to an end. Its the very foundation of human society. It can mend what is broken and it can easily break the most beautiful and valuable of things. And lastly, its not something remote or unrelated. You are surrounded by it. The way you communicate holds immense significance in the long run not just for your own growth but for humanity as a whole.

-Comments invited-

 

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