Archive for October, 2011

True Communication

Mind cannot operate comfortably in uncertainty. Uncertainty and unpredictability confuses it. Its actions are always in reference to some fixed points. It tends to stablize things through labels, concepts and ideas.

When we meet a complete stranger , we have no idea about his nature. Mind starts to figure out what ‘kind’ of person other is. One has to respond to what is being said with almost nothing as a context to ‘who is saying’. Its different with the people we already know. we have some some ideas about who they are. We label them as ‘jerk’, ‘smart’, ‘funny’, ‘sincere’, ‘kind’, ‘mad’ and so on. Its neither that we use words exactly nor that we are always conscious of our frame of mind. But we still have opinions that we carry consciously or not so. These labels bring us into certain frames of mind that make it easier to make a response – to understand, and unfortunately to misunderstand as well. We tend to get fixed to a mental set that defines the set of responses appropriate for particular persons. This is often the first step towards blind living.

The reality is that people change with time. To see people as objects is missing the point. People are rather processes instead of fixed objects. Labels are our mind’s way to gaining the comfort of certainty – a rather costly comfort. It inevitably places us in a position where ‘what is being said’ gets mixed up with the disturbance being caused by our opinions about ‘who is saying’. The person beneath that label may be much different from the label itself. And this is often the case. Each day you wake up to a new world. But we tend to cling to our past opinions. Instead of looking at what is directly we look at it through the lens of past.

Proper communication can take place only when one is free of ones labels , ideas , notions, and prejudices about the other. By putting these aside one gets out of that complacent, easy, reactive and relatively unconscious way of responding to what is being said. Such communication takes place without any burden of the past. It happens in the present – moment to moment. Past is not totally sacrificed. Past is accessed through the present and not the other way round. And it is only such communication that can know freedom, that can lead to freedom. Such communication is not a means to an end of controlling others or making others conform. Only in such communication can the walls of resistance fall. Fear and control based communication only strengthens the resistance.

This is applicable in every aspect of your life – in Your peer group, your family, your workplace and most importantly your own communication with yourself. Its of utmost importance to be able to see and communicate with who you really are rather than with some established identity you carry about yourself.

It is the way we communicate that determines the coherence of the society. Society is after all a projection of the relations of the individuals with each other. Its not an object but a process. Not a structure but an alchemy. Society does not determine us, we determine it. Its not something to be blamed. It has no existence of its own. Its the product of our interaction with each other. Communication , as such, is much more important than we usually think it to be. Its not just a way to get things done – a means to an end. Its the very foundation of human society. It can mend what is broken and it can easily break the most beautiful and valuable of things. And lastly, its not something remote or unrelated. You are surrounded by it. The way you communicate holds immense significance in the long run not just for your own growth but for humanity as a whole.

-Comments invited-



No Problem, No Solution.

When you go to a master seeking a solution, the master ,instead snatches your problem away. Giving you a soluton means joining in your madness. Without problem the question of solution does not arise at all. You are left blank, gazing into the silence.

Even a solution, if he gives you one, is a means to pointing at the absurdity of the problem. Even the solution would be but a hammer on your very grounds. He holds a mirror and you cannot hold on to the problem anymore. You may even laugh at yourself; at what you have been doing all this time.

But this does not mean you realize. You are caught in habit. You just get a taste of something else and then You again revert back to the old habits. You again revert back to the blindness. You go to the master again and he gives you a taste again. Many people spend their whole life visiting the master to get that taste again and again. This becomes another addiction. It just becomes another issue. Master becomes just a solution – temporary as all solutions are. We are so good at creating issues. We have m aterialistic issues, and we have issues we call sacred. Its all the same. Only the label has been changed. The same habit is going on under the covers.

Making you Realize ( intellectually) that the raising of a problem is the problem itself is all that a master can do. He can show you the mirror that raising issues is the problem itself and solution is itself a problem. But people get addicted to mirrors. They get addicted to the awe that the mirror inspires; to the jerk that the mirror instills. To be stuck at any point is being stuck after all. Be it with the master or be it alone. You are dead when you are stuck – out of admiration or out of criticism.

No one can give you that final jerk. Even you can’t. It happens on its own volition when you are ready. But we want solutions; we fear uncertainity of life. This keeps us in seeking solaces through entities/objects – physical as well as supernatural. The end of the game is in understanding, not in seeking solutions.

( Based on a recent interaction with a realized being)