Posts Tagged ‘Seeking’

Your life has a separate meaning? Lessons to be learnt? Soul-contract?


Mind seeks to bind life into an understandable concept. Its frightening to have no reference point in this flux called life. We need something ( often concept) that can bring some sense of certainty to life; certainty regarding the ‘way’ life works. To think that the sense of control we have is illusionary is quite painful. All our life we have been trying to find means to be able to be in control. Illusionary sense of control is our shell. Extreme fear lurks free at its boundary. A little does ooze in to make us uneasy. I hope I am not saying something you cannot relate within yourself.

No matter how much we deny , but the truth is that we are nowhere near being the center of existence. No insult to anyone, subjective reality is a twig for cowards to hold on to in this flow of life. Or it is just a way to sell your half-cooked philosophy. Giving hope is after all the BIG game. I feel we are just leaves on this tree called existence; a tree that is unfolding spontaneously. Some leaves don’t get proper sunlight and fall ill. Some are healthy. Some have just blossomed out. Some are ready to fall off – fall and dissolve as a manure into the very existence itself. We are just the unfolding of existence. ( I would not like to touch here on how these ‘special’ leaves we call ‘human’ have turned into a self-conscious entities as it will stray away from the main topic).

Each leaf has its own unique way of unfolding and falling off. We form opinions regarding this unfolding as ‘the way we lived life’ and Regarding falling off as ‘disease’ , ‘accident’, ‘suicide’, ‘sacrifice’ etc etc. These are just our superimposed opinions on whatever there is.

An opinion I have been hearing lately, and did myself hold for quite a time, is that our life has a meaning. Which at looking closer means – I have a meaning. You lose someone you loved from the core of your heart. But it wasn’t to be. You parted your ways. You were left in immense pain. You felt utterly unable to grasp why all this had happened to you. You eventually came out of this pain and you saw yourself as a changed person. A broken heart , in my opinion, is one of the greatest transformers. Its the seed of immense growth. The mind still has the curiosity to know the ‘reason’ behind all the pain one had to go through. An answer that often comes up is that there was a lesson to be learnt ( Thanks to the teachers who teach this without even a pinch of doubt). Other concepts like soul-contract come into the picture here.

Leave aside the truth fullness of this philosophy for the moment, this way of thinking is really very soothing. I’ve been through immense pain and had clung to this concept for a time. Its the ultimate comfort. First, it gives one an explanation to life – its workings. Secondly, it makes life a little more predictable and gives a sense of certainty ( and ,of course, reduces the GREAT fear of the unknown). And the most important fact is that it sustains the ego – the sense of separation.

To think that your life has a meaning is one of the myriad subtle manifestations of egoic perception. Just a substitute is given for the actual oneness by interrelating seemingly separate parts. The Ego is saved, moreover it gets the holy shelter of oneness. Interrelation of parts is often forwarded as oneness – its just a subtle, cunning substitute Oneness is realization of absolute oneness, not an intellectual reconciliation of the dissected(s) . Its the dissolution of dissection itself , not the mending of it.

What are your views about this philosophy of ‘lessons to be learnt’ and ‘soul contracts’?

Intense experiences are indeed transforming. But its just our own later superimposed interpretation that life is about learning lessons we have assigned ourselves to. Mind has subtle ways of reinforcing itself, escaping the uncertainty and to carry its game on. 


Misery In Mirages.

Misery of Mirage

The time was around 5 am and the mountains beyond Sukhna lake were playing hide’n’seek in the uneven mist. Some swan-like white birds, three in number, were in a flight just a feet over the water accompanying each other towards a destination only they knew… or perhaps even they didn’t. Sitting at the broad line of stairs merging down into the the lake I was totally present to what lay in front and also to the sounds of people running by, walking by and some even talking by. Two men passed by talking loudly and intently about some travel expense of about 70 rs ( >2$) in such a tone that seemed as if the matter was worth millions. There was no judgment, no thought.. just presence. I looked at the subtle yet constant currents in the water and was suddenly pulled out of the present moment. I was waiting for someone. That someone happened to be a friend of mine who I was to meet after a few months.

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