To My God

Silently you throb in my heart,
and each pulse becomes a story apart.

In my eyes you twinkle all night long,
I hear in my falling tears;
your silent song.

From your beauty my poems spring,
words gallop with rhythm,
fly without wings.

In your company so blessed I feel,
this miserable heart of mine;
it dances with zeal.

Its you energy that runs through me, not mine;
my silence, my laughter, my sorrow, its all thine.

I remain silent ’cause I’m just a hollow flute;
craving for you to play me;
lying rusted and mute.

I may never be able to tell you what’s inside,
My words may be cut short;
to my fears I may abide;
but in my heart you will forever reside,
from years to years;
from lives to lives.

– Arz Sra


Silent Nights


On those silent nights,
as silent as my tears,
when the moon stands still,
as still as my fears.


When the stars remind me
of thy twinkling eyes ,
when the sky reminds me
of the ocean that was in thy eyes.


When a cool breeze blows,
,in me, the winds of past,
from the breeze that first blew
to the whirlwinds that now last.


When a cloud floats silently by,
as silently as you invaded my heart,
silently as you owned it all,
silently as you flew apart.


When moon shines upon
the dew that sits still,
when i can see you in the drops
that my eyes fill.


When my heart beats to rhythm,
of pain and pleasure,
separation being torment,
your memories my treasure.


On every such night,
my heart takes a dive,
deep into the ocean
of golden past,
only to come back forlorn
to the ruins that now last.

– Arz Sra

Why is there urge of sharing & curiosity to know the response ?

Q – Why is there urge of sharing & curiosity to know the response ?

A –To ask why it is there is to resist what is already there. Like being thirsty and asking why I have a glass of water in my hand.

Why is not important , the moment is. Answers come on their own. One cannot cultivate them. Cultivated answers are not answers at all.

True answer is the dissolution of question itself. Answers don’t matter at all. Each answer is a seed of many more questions. Why can never be answered.

The fact is that it is there. One has to go fully into it. Accept it. The answers shall come or the very urge may dissolve. Be the urge and you will know.

As a temporary comfort, one can think that the urge to share as well as the curiosity to know the response is a subtle manifestation of ego. Which simply means – one has given the power to the other.

But this very answer is again the machination of ego itself in an even subtle way. To and fro is the game.

This cycle never ends. Answers never come. Only the question can dissolve. All questions are of the ego.

To ask why is to void yourself of the beauty of whatever there is in the moment.


Your life has a separate meaning? Lessons to be learnt? Soul-contract?


Mind seeks to bind life into an understandable concept. Its frightening to have no reference point in this flux called life. We need something ( often concept) that can bring some sense of certainty to life; certainty regarding the ‘way’ life works. To think that the sense of control we have is illusionary is quite painful. All our life we have been trying to find means to be able to be in control. Illusionary sense of control is our shell. Extreme fear lurks free at its boundary. A little does ooze in to make us uneasy. I hope I am not saying something you cannot relate within yourself.

No matter how much we deny , but the truth is that we are nowhere near being the center of existence. No insult to anyone, subjective reality is a twig for cowards to hold on to in this flow of life. Or it is just a way to sell your half-cooked philosophy. Giving hope is after all the BIG game. I feel we are just leaves on this tree called existence; a tree that is unfolding spontaneously. Some leaves don’t get proper sunlight and fall ill. Some are healthy. Some have just blossomed out. Some are ready to fall off – fall and dissolve as a manure into the very existence itself. We are just the unfolding of existence. ( I would not like to touch here on how these ‘special’ leaves we call ‘human’ have turned into a self-conscious entities as it will stray away from the main topic).

Each leaf has its own unique way of unfolding and falling off. We form opinions regarding this unfolding as ‘the way we lived life’ and Regarding falling off as ‘disease’ , ‘accident’, ‘suicide’, ‘sacrifice’ etc etc. These are just our superimposed opinions on whatever there is.

An opinion I have been hearing lately, and did myself hold for quite a time, is that our life has a meaning. Which at looking closer means – I have a meaning. You lose someone you loved from the core of your heart. But it wasn’t to be. You parted your ways. You were left in immense pain. You felt utterly unable to grasp why all this had happened to you. You eventually came out of this pain and you saw yourself as a changed person. A broken heart , in my opinion, is one of the greatest transformers. Its the seed of immense growth. The mind still has the curiosity to know the ‘reason’ behind all the pain one had to go through. An answer that often comes up is that there was a lesson to be learnt ( Thanks to the teachers who teach this without even a pinch of doubt). Other concepts like soul-contract come into the picture here.

Leave aside the truth fullness of this philosophy for the moment, this way of thinking is really very soothing. I’ve been through immense pain and had clung to this concept for a time. Its the ultimate comfort. First, it gives one an explanation to life – its workings. Secondly, it makes life a little more predictable and gives a sense of certainty ( and ,of course, reduces the GREAT fear of the unknown). And the most important fact is that it sustains the ego – the sense of separation.

To think that your life has a meaning is one of the myriad subtle manifestations of egoic perception. Just a substitute is given for the actual oneness by interrelating seemingly separate parts. The Ego is saved, moreover it gets the holy shelter of oneness. Interrelation of parts is often forwarded as oneness – its just a subtle, cunning substitute Oneness is realization of absolute oneness, not an intellectual reconciliation of the dissected(s) . Its the dissolution of dissection itself , not the mending of it.

What are your views about this philosophy of ‘lessons to be learnt’ and ‘soul contracts’?

Intense experiences are indeed transforming. But its just our own later superimposed interpretation that life is about learning lessons we have assigned ourselves to. Mind has subtle ways of reinforcing itself, escaping the uncertainty and to carry its game on. 

Consciousness Vs Brain – Where Scientific view collapses onto itself

You may have heard a sage say – you are not your body(including brain) , neither are you your mind; You are the pure >consciousness< that operates through these mediums. This which they call consciousness has not , till yet, been discovered in science. For science , consciousness is a phenomenon that emerges from THE brain. As such, consciousness is not separate from the body. Its the product of the Brain. Brain generates what we call consciousness. Consciousness ends once the brain ends. Brain is the central mechanism. Let us inquire further into this scientific view.

As consciousness is the product of Brain , we can assume that whatever is it that we experience is what the brain generates. That chair ( or anything) is not there, its here in the brain. Brains response to ‘what is’ emerges as the shape of chair( which we call chair). There is definitely something there. But all that happens to us is the reaction between the chair and the brain. Everything is processed by the brain and then displayed. Whatever brain displays is what you know. This view seems solid as Any damage to the brain can result in a distorted conscious experience. Till now this viewpoint seems to be holding strong that consciousness is the product of brain. All the myriad experiences including enlightenment are a product of the brain itself. Lets inquire further.

IF it is true that all our experiences are generated within the brain then what we point to as the brain is also the product of machinations of the brain itself. We do not perceive brain itself but we perceive what the ‘brain’ ( the central unit) displays as the brain. Brain that we perceive and the brain ( the central processing mechanism) cannot possibly be the same.

What WE see as the processor is actually in the category of the processed just like other objects. Biological Brain cannot be presenting a phenomenon from behind which includes its own self AS IT IS( Note: means that what we see will be distorted; not what is as it is). The presenter has to lie beyond the presented because in the very ‘presentation by presented’ as the presenter, something is left out. Brain cannot be presenting itself through itself because that which will then be presented would be subject to the process of the brain itself. If what we see as the presenter ( brain) has to give the true picture then it has to lie beyond the realm of presented. Still it cannot give a true picture of its own self.

Consciousness is not an emergent phenomenon ( subject to something; emerging from something). In fact the brain itself is an emergent phenomenon that is subject to something beyond. That true central unit cannot be perceived by its own self. This is where the cause-effect chain ends. Brain just lies as a ring upon on the causal chain. Its not the brain ( processor) presenting the brain because in that case it would be the perception of the the Processor which is not possible at all. The result of action of processor upon itself , which we call perception, can in no way present processor as it is. Brain is subject to the processor and not the processor to itself. This is where the brain-as-a-centre model that science hold collapses on its own self. Central unit cannot be subject to itself.

There does seem to be some weight to what the sages say.

– Comments Invited – 

Misery In Mirages.

Misery of Mirage

The time was around 5 am and the mountains beyond Sukhna lake were playing hide’n’seek in the uneven mist. Some swan-like white birds, three in number, were in a flight just a feet over the water accompanying each other towards a destination only they knew… or perhaps even they didn’t. Sitting at the broad line of stairs merging down into the the lake I was totally present to what lay in front and also to the sounds of people running by, walking by and some even talking by. Two men passed by talking loudly and intently about some travel expense of about 70 rs ( >2$) in such a tone that seemed as if the matter was worth millions. There was no judgment, no thought.. just presence. I looked at the subtle yet constant currents in the water and was suddenly pulled out of the present moment. I was waiting for someone. That someone happened to be a friend of mine who I was to meet after a few months.

  Continue reading

Going with the Flow – The emerging Opium of the masses.

Mind seeks to turn every bit of knowing into some sort of a comfort providing idea. Just look around and you will surely have a bag full of evidence. It does not realize the whole discomfort it creates in the present in this mad pursuit of comfort. If you look closely you will see that almost all of your actions and thoughts are consciously or Sub-consciously directed at some comfort to be gained. Either its directly aimed at comfort or indirectly.

You feel the urge to eat sugar. If you do eat it , you directly gain comfort . If you do not eat it, you have to give yourself an explanation.  May be you have diabetes and you tell yourself that not taking sugar is for your long term benefit. Whether you eat or you not eat – whether you take route A or route B – there is an impulse beneath it. The impulse is to move towards comfort , to seek gratification. This is how you are driven by the constant calculations of the mind. Comfort is always the end without any exceptions.

Now to the phrase that  has been totally stripped of its true implication is – ‘Go with the flow’. Firstly, it has just become a means for individuals to just blindly follow their impulses. This is not really something serious . This has been the story all along. Just that now it has the holy shelter of Go-With-The-Flow. And this has really been the story all along – we seek refuge in so called sacred words, ideologies and rituals. This not something new. What is really new is the growing number of people who think spirituality is just going with the flow. Going with the flow seems like a very comforting end one has to reach. When spirituality dawns upon you, you merge with the flow. To seek synchronicity with the flow is to end up into the same circle of end-aimed actions sacrificing the present.

Life is really uncertain. It is even ruthless . To escape this reality we create the concept of ‘wandering'( the problem) in the first place ( see the trick?). We assume we are wandering since lives…. This provides us with a possibility of solution of some sort of ‘stability’ that there is. If there is wandering then there has to be stability somewhere; Preferably lying somewhere for us to just go and pick up.  Our problem creation – making an issue by thinking -gives us a possible future solution. The GAME goes on. Embracing the uncertainty of life; being one with it is what merges you with the flow. You may have to go through much pain while merging with the flow. There is bound to be friction between the past-conditioned mind and presence. But we keep avoiding the blow of present upon the past-conditioned structure that mind is.

Its not as easy as most people assume . Flow is not a comforting thought. It is what it is.  Flow is not something compassionate as you think. That is just a manifestation of the insecurity of the mind.  Flow is not there to hold your hand. It can kill you anytime. It is not concerned about you. It is as it is. It does not even know you exist. You exist as a  separate entity for yourself , not for what is.  There is no consolation here. Going with the flow is not really a joy ride. If you think the holy existence will take care of you once you let yourself into the flow, its better to forget this idea. All you are doing is getting into another pursuit of seeking. The label is changed , the process beneath is the same. ‘Holy existence’ has no Idea that you are there. To realize this is to land into the lap of humility. But you invariably assume that your ideas about ‘what is’ are true.

Go-with-the-flow happens only when you can bring to awareness the unconscious struggle you have been doing all your life.

But to seek consolations through natural and supernatural entities has become a habit. The supernatural happenings are nothing but machinations of a deeper and stronger part of your own mind. There is nothing ‘sacred’ about it as you assume. Spirituality lies beyond archetypes. But One is never ready to embrace ones fears that lead one to seeking refuge in illusions. Illusions are idolized.  Pain is treated as an alien and pleasure is worshiped. One feels as if one is ‘With the flow’ when everything seems to be happening effortlessly. When one feels that all is perfect as it is. This’ being with the flow’ is just an illusion you create for yourself .

What would happen to you if suddenly you were to hear some really bad news? The so called Flow evaporates like it was never there. This comfort of your shells, of the conformity of life to YOU is not the flow. one can go on fooling oneself about it ones whole life and also keep crying over the temporariness of this feeling of ‘flow’. Who are you without your problems? Problems and solution , both are minds ways to BE, to exist. Without these its annihilation.  Raising issues out of nothing is the core.

Just remember, Flow is not your comfort ground… it is where YOU end. It is there whether you wish it to be or not to be. On you way, the twigs you hold on to for some time  you call as  ‘going with the flow’. And then you spend whole time discussing why there are not more twigs. You miss the whole point. You are not even aware that you are in a unconscious battle with the flow. To be aware of these unconscious, conditioned and habitual efforts is to realize the ground.  To struggle or not to struggle is something you can choose, but you simply cannot quit the game. The flow is there and it will take you. Its upon you if you want to enjoy the surrounding scenery or you want to struggle in the hope of some mirage.

But like the fish in the ocean, we ask – ” where is the thing they call ocean?” . We are not aware of the misery that we keep carrying inside; we do not realize that we have any problem. No problem, no need for solution. To face yourself is to have the courage to look inside and be aware of the never-ending machinations of the mind that one has to go through. In that Seeing, it drops – surrender happens and you become one with the flow. If go-with-the-flow is just another comforting idea for you then you are still caught. No act but to face yourself can help. Going with the flow as an Idea is nothing more than another game of the mind to reach a comfortable end. It is this very effort of the mind that stands between you and the flow. Can you bear the paradox?